How do you find the best camps for your teenager? How much do you rely on information? How much do you rely on your instincts? How much do you rely on your teenager’s instincts? And how much do you rely on pure luck?

 

by Neal Starkman

When summer’s here, teenagers are no longer occupied with algebra tests and science projects, and that means parents have to find substitute activities for about 70 days. What’s it going to be: watching them hole up in the bedroom playing computer games, sending them off to Australia for a couple of months, or enrolling them in camps?

If the first is too maddening and some version of the second is too expensive, then you’re going to want to figure out just what are the best camps for your teenager. Interestingly, your decisions—and the way you make them—may have nothing to do with parenting styles.

My wife and I have walked this path with our own teenage son for the past few years. The path is strewn with pitfalls and diversions, but, hey, he’s still alive and we’re still solvent. So let’s talk about week-long day camps: camps that typically run from about 9:00 in the morning to about 3:00 in the afternoon; camps that are age-appropriate; and camps that do not require any serious refinancing of your home to join.

Practical considerations

● Look for camps that are more or less reputable, say, sponsored by a national organization such as Camp Fire USA or Big Brothers Big Sisters or the YMCA. Distrust organizations with pending lawsuits.

● Look for camps that are reasonably close to your home or business or an easy bus line. You don’t want to commute 40 extra miles a day so your daughter can learn to macramé. And camps that run only from 9 a.m. to noon are barely worthwhile, because not only do you break up your day with transport, but you also have a half day of the hole-up-in-the-bedroom problem I previously mentioned.

● If you can get personal recommendations—your neighbor’s son attended an acting camp five years ago, and last month he won an Emmy—all the better. Otherwise, use the combined magic of the internet and the telephone.

Something old, something new

Of course, variety depends on geography and whether your community has, for example, museums and zoos and science centers. By my count, the number of topics addressed by day camps in and around Seattle is approximately a gazillion. There are sports camps and computer camps and woodworking camps and mushroom-hunting camps. There are probably even camps about camps. (Incidentally, I’d avoid any camps that include in their description the words “kick-box,” “feral,” “bungee,” or “infectious.”)

Teenagers can get into camps that explore their city or take them on day trips to the mountains or spend the day at arcades. They can learn to blow glass or argue law cases or prepare French cuisine or snorkel.

So if you’ll be enrolling your teen in several day camps over the summer, think about camps of familiarity as well as camps of challenge—a little comfort, a little risk. Try that with structure, too. Some camps schedule activities to the minute, while others allow lots of free time.

In our case, we’ve usually signed up my son for sports—baseball, soccer, tennis—as well as some less traditional activities, such as building a soapbox car or kayaking or bird-watching. The experiences aren’t always successful, he hasn’t always liked them, but they have given him a nice potpourri of activities he may want to pursue, or avoid, in the future.

Involving your teen in the decisions—or not

In an ideal world, you’d sit down with your teenager and review each camp. You’d examine both the content and the structure of the camp, and how the camp fit with your teen’s interests and skills and goals. You’d come to amicable decisions about the summer, and at the end of the discussion your teen would hug you and say, “I’m sure lucky to have such a knowledgeable and caring parent.”

But we don’t live in an ideal world; at least, I don’t. So I recommend asking your teen for some general guidelines: How much athletics? How much crafts? How much hanging out with other teens and listening to music? Then gather as much information as you can, come up with a plan, and share it. 

Chances are, your son or daughter will give your plan short shrift because most teenagers can’t think that far in advance. Later you can try to fall back on “But in April you said okay!”

If your teen absolutely vetoes something—“No fencing!” or “I don’t want to play chess for a whole week!”—then accept the veto and substitute something less objectionable. Obviously, the effectiveness of this interplay depends in large part on you, your teen, and your relationship.

The ideal time for this discussion is in the spring, before camps fill up. But it's not too late even well into the summer, especially as your teens find time hanging heavily on their hands. Many communities hold day camps through their recreation centers, and YMCA and church camps often have openings.

Post-camp

Finally, a word of advice: Don’t get discouraged. Sometimes I’ve found myself much more excited about the camp than my stoic son ever could be. Last year, we enrolled him in an aviation camp. Sponsored by the Museum of Flight, the camp taught students the basics of flying and culminated in each student getting to co-pilot a Cessna in actual flight.

When I was a kid, an exciting time in camp meant that you got to shoot arrows. But my son was flying a plane! I mean, I’ve never flown a plane, and he was doing it as a teenager! Alas, for all his response, he could have been drawing a plane, or watching a movie about someone drawing a plane. But maybe that’s just him.

My point is this, and it probably goes for more than just summer-camp planning: Do the best you can, and rejoice in the knowledge that you did. Soon the fall will come, school will be upon you again, and you can relax.

 

Neal Starkman, who lives in Seattle, holds a Ph.D. in social psychology. He is the owner of a company, Flashpoint Development, that specializes in innovative health education. Before his son, Cole, was born in 1995, he had more time and energy to write two novels and publish fiction, nonfiction, academic papers, and political essays in national magazines and journals.

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