Encouraging Hygiene for Pre-Teens and Teens

Why do so many young teens resist washing their hair and brushing their teeth? It’s part of their need for independence. But since results aren’t healthy (or pleasant!), parents need to go beyond “plead – nag – yell – repeat.” 

by Shannon Philpott

Each night I find myself reminding my 11-year-old daughter to wash her face and brush her teeth. She sighs, rolls her eyes, and stomps into the bathroom. The nightly battle continues as I push for proper hygiene and she pushes back for independence. My continuous nagging ensues as I warn about the consequences of poor hygiene—acne and cavities—and my daughter continues to view these tasks as a chore rather than a necessity.

Many parents face these same struggles. We’re baffled: how can our pre-teen or teen disregard what we, as adults, see as routine and natural?

According to Paul C. Reisser, M.D., a family physician in private practice in Southern California the author of The Complete Guide to Baby and Child Care, the issue is not about whether or not your child applies deodorant, washes his or her face, or wears clean clothes. The bigger issue is about how parents approach these issues through intentional discussion.

“It is important for parents to have intentional, built-in times and settings for conversations with kids,” Reisser told Parent USA City. “There needs to be one-on-one time where there is rapport and listening.”

Living in a society that Reisser describes as routine panic—where parents are rushing children to sporting events, dance lessons, and school activities—it is typical to adopt a “margin-less lifestyle.”

“It’s a real threat at this age,” Reisser said. “Things are pretty calm, and parents often think they can go on auto pilot.” This is the time, though, to initiate conversations about hygiene and changes that will occur in the body, Reisser said.

Strategies to open communication

An intentional play date with parents can provide an opportunity for parents and teens to connect and discuss these issues. A day of shopping or a dinner date will ultimately prompt your child to open up. “These conversations about hygiene and what is coming need to be built in naturally,” Reisser said. “A lot of stuff will come up in the course of these conversations if you are all ears and totally present in the conversation.”

The conversations may entail discussing personal choices, proper body care, and healthy eating habits. Throughout the course of the conversation, parents must distinguish the tasks that are non-negotiable, such as brushing teeth, washing hair, and applying deodorant, regardless of whether or not a battle is looming.

Choosing the battles can be tricky, though. Applying deodorant may take precedence over the messy state of a child’s room, Reisser said. “It’s about balancing love and limits. If your child is pushing for more independence, that is normal, but you have to establish the limits.”

As parents, in our child rearing styles, we will also make mistakes. “We will miss important signals from our children about their desires and needs and overreact to others based on our desires and needs,” Reisser said. “We may at times become too distracted, tired, overcommitted, or swamped with other responsibilities to do much more than attempt to put out fires.”

Showing our human side and leading by example is one step in the right direction. Practicing proper hygiene alongside your child will ultimately support the intentional discussions. When my daughter sees me washing my face each night, she ultimately will view the task as routine, rather than a chore or a battle, and it gives us the opportunity to talk more about why caring for the body is important.

Hygiene fosters self-respect

As your child’s body is changing, so are his or her thought processes. Encouraging proper hygiene at an early age sets the stage for the future, Reisser said.

“Whether or not they are comfortable with their physical appearance, adolescents must decide how they will care for themselves. Lifestyle and habits established at this age may continue well into adulthood, and it is never too early to establish a healthy respect for the one and only body they will ever occupy.”

 

Shannon Philpott is a writer/reporter with 10-plus years of experience, and a college journalism instructor. She maintains a blog about writing, reflecting, and teaching at shannonphilpott.com.

© Photo by Sergiy Nykonenko | Dreamstime.com