It’s often hard to find the right words to explain a confusing or painful situation to a young child. Luckily, many authors have already tackled these concepts. Several guidebooks will help you find these special storybooks.

by Ruth A. Wilson, Ph.D.

My daughter, Carol, was 4 years old when my husband and I decided to move to another city so we would live closer to where he worked. Carol was quite upset when we told her about the move. She didn’t want to leave the place she knew as “home” and her best friend who lived next door. After we explained why we were moving, Carol suggested that we move without her! Of course, I told her that this was not an option and explained that I couldn’t live without her. My reasoning didn’t convince Carol; she suggested we could come and visit her sometimes.

Carol’s reaction to the idea of moving left me wondering what to do. How could I help her through this difficult transition? I wish that I’d had more insight at that time into the value of using storybooks to support and guide children through tough situations. Fortunately, with the help of the children’s librarian in our new city, I soon learned.

When Carol was 6 years old, our pet cat Rusty died. Carol was sad and upset, but I wasn’t sure how to talk to her about death and loss. I turned to a children’s book, The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst, to start a discussion.

In this story, a young boy loses his cat, Barney. His mother suggests that they have a special ceremony or funeral for Barney and then bury his body in their yard near some flowering bushes. The little boy is asked to think of “ten good things about Barney” to say during the ceremony.

The story inspired Carol to talk about her cat and all the things that she liked about Rusty. After hearing the story, Carol also suggested finding just the right place to bury Rusty. Talking about how wonderful Rusty was and making plans for his burial seemed to help Carol in dealing with the loss.

Finding books for your situation

How do you find just the right storybook for parenting children through a difficult time? I recommend three excellent guidebooks that will point you toward many such books to help children deal with hard issues in their lives:

• Storybooks for Tough Times, by Laura Ann Campbell (1999)
• Books to Grow With: A Guide to Using the Best Children's Fiction for Everyday Issues and Tough Challenges, by Cheryl Coon (2004)
• Books Your Kids Will Talk About! by Susan Hepler and Maria Salvadore (2003)

Both Storybooks for Tough Times and Books to Grow With are organized around topics or themes relating to fears, anxieties, and difficult situations faced by many children during their growing-up years. The topics addressed include the first day of school, moving, shyness, anger, illness, divorce, adoption, homelessness, war, and many more.

These two guidebooks recommend stories that can be used with children from about preschool through sixth grade. So you’ll find middle-grade novels as well as read-aloud picture books. A brief summary of each selected book is included. Storybooks for Tough Times also includes some discussion questions you may find helpful in getting your children to talk about what they’re feeling and thinking.

Books Your Kids Will Talk About! by Susan Hepler is another resource to get your child engaged in meaningful discussion and self-exploration. Published by the National Education Association, this book includes suggestions for teachers on how to integrate issue-related books into their curriculum, but it functions as well as a helpful booklist for parents.

The book is organized into 10 chapters, each on a different theme, including “Living in a Family,” “Making Friends,” “Looking in a Mirror,” and “Getting Through Tough Times.” A final section suggests overarching questions and activities.

Books helpful for non-crisis life situations, too

Even when a situation in a child’s life isn’t inherently painful, some books help children reflect on and discuss issues relating to their own experiences.

Jeannie Baker’s Home in the Sky is a story about a little boy named Carlos who finds a homing pigeon and takes it home. Carlos wants to keep the pigeon, but his mother shows him the band around the pigeon’s leg. This band, she explains, means the bird already has a home. Carlos decides to let the bird go.  Later, as he watches a white pigeon fly across the sky, Carlos realizes it was best for the pigeon to go back to its home.

After hearing this story, Carol decided to release a turtle she had captured earlier that week. She really wanted to keep the turtle but realized that it would be better off in its natural environment. I’m sure the story helped her arrive at the decision to let it go. 



Dr. Ruth Wilson is an educational consultant and curriculum writer. Her primary areas of expertise are early childhood environmental education and peace education.

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