Starting a new school can be as intense as the ninth inning of a tied baseball game – especially when the school is in a new town because the family has relocated. Ensure a home-run school year with these tips to allay fears and tears.

by Joan M. Thomas

The start of a new school year, like the beginning of the baseball season, can evoke feelings of renewal and hopeful anticipation. It’s a clean slate. There are new clothes and supplies, new subjects, new books, and new teachers.

Yet, when a child’s entire environment changes, it’s like being traded from the St. Louis Cardinals to the New York Yankees. Now, almost everything in the child’s whole life is new. This can create problems.

A traded ballplayer may worry that he won’t meet with the new club’s expectations. What if his new teammates shun him? Worse yet, what if the fans boo him? What if he flubs an easy play or strikes out his first time at bat!

When a child’s family moves into a different school district, she may experience the same foreboding.

Change breeds stress

According to the U. S. Census Bureau, every year approximately one-fifth of all Americans move to a new home. More than half of the moves occur between June and October, usually before Labor Day. So, as the baseball season closes and the nation’s youngsters resume their formal education, many of them do so in a foreign setting.

Family moves normally result from career changes, new homes, divorce, and income-altering circumstances. In most cases, the child plays no part in the reason. Nonetheless, she leaves behind established friendships and familiar terrain. She’s akin to the traded Cardinals player whose closest buddies wear the same uniform and call Busch Stadium home. The move disrupts the warmth and security provided by the people and the place.

Although moving is likely in the best interest of a child’s family, anyone will tell you that even good change breeds stress. Adapting to unfamiliar surroundings and circumstances is difficult enough for adults.

Acclimating demands support

Parents need to pay particular attention to helping their child acclimate to the new environment, especially to the school. Tips offered by the National Parent Teacher Association and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) break down to these five basic points:

• Explain the reason for the move so that the child knows his needs are being considered.

• Tell him about the family’s new location. Point out something of interest there, such as a landmark or park.

• Familiarize yourself and the child with the new school. Arrange an advance tour and meeting with the teacher.

• Encourage the child to participate in extracurricular activities in order to make new friends with common interests.

• Have an up-beat attitude—it will rub off on him.

Additionally, a child’s age and school level take on special considerations. The AACAP states that “children in kindergarten or first grade may be particularly vulnerable to a family move.…” These children have just overcome their first separation anxiety by starting school for the first time.

This is when your parenting style comes strongly into play: your own positive attitude is imperative. Think about the youngest child in the film Meet Me in St. Louis. Distraught over the family’s impending move to New York, she hysterically destroys her Christmas snowmen, crying, “I’d rather kill them if we can’t take them with us.” Her despair reflects her family members’ display of resentment and melancholy.

Regarding older children, the AACAP reports that their difficulties with the move are generally due to “the increasing importance of peer groups.”

The organization urges parents to be aware of these warning signs of depression:

• Changes in appetite
• Social withdrawal
• Drop in grades
• Irritability
• Sleep disturbances
• Dramatic changes in behavior or mood

Another Hollywood film, Rebel Without a Cause, portrays the tragic consequences of a troubled youngster’s muted cry for guidance and understanding. The pouting demeanor that made the flick’s star James Dean an American icon was actually his impression of a depressed high school student.

Recognizing the need for intervention is just as relevant today as when the movie was first released, nearly 50 years ago.

Positive attitude goes a long way

Shari Sevier, coordinator of guidance counseling for Rockwood, the largest school district in St. Louis County, says that activities held by school districts can help ease the changes children face when entering a new school. Rockwood holds welcoming activities at the beginning of the school year. Counselors host newcomers’ groups before and during the term.

Moreover, Sevier strongly encourages new families to follow the AACAP’s advice.

Getting familiar with the new school and the teacher prior to starting class eliminates unsettling surprises. And, getting children involved in sports and other activities at school is important to their socialization, as Sevier will personally attest.

When she moved to the district from another state, her own son excelled after he joined the soccer team. Echoing the words of other experts, she says, “Parents can help if they are positive and show excitement.”

With proper attention from parents and teachers, a move can increase a child’s self-confidence and interpersonal skills. Learning to adapt to new surroundings will aid him throughout his life.

When children have the support of both their family and their school, a move can be like a memorable trade. In 1964, in a highly unpopular management decision, a relatively unknown player moved from Chicago to St. Louis. Now Lou Brock is enshrined in Cooperstown—as a Cardinal.

 

The author of three books, freelance writer and historian Joan M. Thomas also enjoys writing feature stories and essays on current topics. Born in Carroll, Iowa, she now lives in St. Louis, Mo., with her husband, Bob, and canine pal, Sasha.

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